I’m going through all my word documents in my computer and this is what I find

Human bodies are weird. They’re all very aesthetic things.

Well women’s bodies anyway. Women’s bodies are like the product of european furniture and streamlined chocolate. It’s curvy and nice and fun to look at. Mens bodies happened because of a grudge match between Dumptrucks and some Golems. It’s got odd shapes, the genitalia looks like someone tried to strangle a bag of grapes…in fact some MEN look like that. They’re not very nice to look at. Weird tufts of hair everywhere, and if they’re out of shape it looks like their chin and belly button are trying to make them fall over.

And I feel like whatever designed the human being was a bit generous with all the fancy shit stuffed inside us meatbags. There’s just so much of everything. Like the brain, for instance. If we only use 10% of it like legends say, why is there so much? It’s like a big slice of chocolate cake. You could cut it up into pieces and only have one, like it’s not really your cake. That’s the worst thing ever, when you’re having cake that isn’t yours. Because eating cake is a sort of personal thing. Sometimes you’ll sit down and have a glass of milk and some nice chocolate cake. If it’s in your own house, you can even stand there with your fork in the whole thing and just go nuts. But if it’s someone else’s cake you can’t conduct yourself in just any manor. You’ve gotta take your slice and sit down. You can’t stand up, because what if the slice they give you breaks before it gets to your plate? Then you spend precious cake time with your tiny fork picking the rest of it off of the cake tray. Which is just bothersome. It’s as if you’re saying to everyone else “Yes, allllll this is my cake and I shan’t be swayed out of stuffing alllll my cake into my stupid fat mouth.” So you just sit down with your cake.

Moral of the story: Human bodies are weird and cake that isn’t yours should be eaten with care.