Dog breeders are so lucky
They can actually get away with saying
LETS GET SOME BABIES UP IN THIS BITCH
and be 100% politically correct and accurate.
reasons animals are going to rise up and kill us all to shit
Dogs make pretty good role models. They successfully give 0 fucks about anything except food, play, and shitting where they’re supposed to.
I think that’s something we can all look up to.
…and cats are still douchebags.
The little bastard got out of the yard when I let him out to play. He hopped the neighbour’s fence and fucked right off.
Dad and I went looking for him, scouring the house and back yard. All of a sudden, in the midst of cursing and lamenting what a shit Owen is, one of the neighbours pops into my periph and I see her round the corner with none other than Owen. She then lets him go and he tears ass towards me like chris browns fist towards Rihanna’s face. So I grab him, and I get rope burn all up in my right hand from his damn leash.
Oh, by the way, Owen is one of my dogs.
So my hand is fucked up pretty fantastically right now, it feels like someone tightened the skin in the palm of my hand. Regardless, I managed to play at Open Mic night at a nearby restaurant. Guitar has never hurt so bad.
…And even after this entire ordeal, Owen still wanted to go right back outside.
Cats see you as that person they live with who seems to somehow be around whenever food appears.
Dogs see you as THE BEST FUCKING PERSON IN THE WHOLE GOD DAMN WORLD.
Cats will throw up on everything you value and then pin the blame on someone else.
If a dog makes a mess somewhere or destroys something, They will let you know, by looking guilty as hell.
DOG: What is that? A piece of rug? IS THAT FOR ME?! I can lie on that ANY TIME I WANT?! OHMYGODILOVEYOUSOMUCHYOU’RESOSUPERSTELLARAWESOMEYESYESYEEESS!
CAT: What is that? your keyboard? Oh, you’re writing an email to your sick dying relative huh? Well I think it’s nap time in keyboardtown. Population: Me. fuck off.
DOG: Another dog?! PLAAAAAYTIME!
CAT: Another cat? I will murder on this day.
Why the f*ck do I write these bizarre out-of-context posts at obscure hours? WHY NOT DURING THE DAY LIKE A NORMAL PERSON?!